I’ve gotten off my ample arse and started submitting DaisyDonnie to publishers.
The first off the bat is Edge and Tesseract books in Canada who specialise in Science-Fiction and Fantasy novels. One of the major problems I’ve had with Daisy Donnie (other than a singluar inclination to actually buckle down and submit the book to a [...]

For those of you who like a table of contents to check through, here it is for book 1!
Fire With Fire
Confinement
Harem Scare ‘em
Cake and Eat It
My Little Pony
The Politics of Thought
Wine, Women and War
The Secret of the Lost Gavel
The Middle Child of the Secret of the Lost Gavel
When Seaf0od Bites Back
Christmas Crackers
The Return of the [...]

In the background of an airport somewhere in the world, a nasally challenged announcement was being made:
‘Will a Mister Pilt Down, arrived on BSD flight 945 from Melbourne, Tullamarine please report immediately to security checkpoint Three-Five.’
At the checkpoint in question, a passport was pushed across the desk in front of the customs officer.
She opened it, [...]

Green hills rolled beneath as the helicopter flew a little lower, its destination near. Trees were dotted here and there on the grassy plain and small patches of colour emerged periodically.
* * *
A white jeweled belt was folded by two men. The silver buckle was folded last and ended up on top.
The Elvis impersonator, captain [...]

Elvis wrenched the shackles free of Daisy-Donnie and helped them down.
‘You look…’ he glanced down at Daisy-Donnie’s chest. ‘Different?’
Daisy-Donnie grinned at Elvis, but was distracted by the sphere of energy high in the air.
‘What are they doing to him?’ they asked, looking upwards.
* * *
Madame Pink and Monsieur Bleu leaned forward and kissed each other [...]

Elvis and The Assassin ran along the gantry from which Donnie had fallen some hours earlier. A size eight ladies shoe lay there, a stain of blood on it.
The skylights exploded with flashes of light and glass showered the two men and the surrounding area.
Dozens of white and black-clad people rappelled down like a French [...]

Daisy and Donnie wandered carefully and quietly through the dark and silent village.
‘This is a bad idea,’ said the voice again. ‘Bad things happened here.’
They ignored the voice. Donnie turned to Daisy, and nodded in the direction of their home.
* * *
The silence between Marcus and The Assassin was pronounced. Prime kept to herself, smiling [...]

Elvis opened one eye. The sound of a lock being buzzed open gained his attention as quickly as a deep-fried mars-bar had back in the old days.
He sat up and looked over at the door to the cell, which had swung slightly open.
A trap? Surely not. They already had him, what would be the point [...]

He decided to risk it.
Locked.
Fuck!
He clicked the gun at it which failed to do anything except pass the time.
He kicked the lock, then hopped around on one foot for a few moments, cradling the foot in his hands.
‘Oh….ouch…’ he gasped.
The pain subsided enough to try another tack.
He placed the injured foot on the floor, backed [...]

The woman stood and walked across to a playpen inside which a small child was playing.
‘Mama has a couple of things to do,’ she said to the boy.
He looked up at her, tilted his head, then looked down again.
The woman left the room.
* * *
‘Come on,’ said Elvis.
Elvis and Donnie picked Prime up between them [...]