Harem Scare ‘em

Donnie closed his eyes and covered his ears from the caterwauling coming from Panix’s vocal chords that sounded, for all intents and purposes, like two pissed off cats in a box.

‘Come Hold Me Tight!’

If only he would use his talents for Good rather than Evil, thought Donnie, still able to make out the butchery of a classic tune through the hands on his ears, two doors and the padding of some rather expensive clothing.

‘Kiss Me My Darling!!’

Shoot me now, thought Donnie.

‘Be Mine Tonight!!’

Donnie felt sudden nausea. He rushed from his temporary, ineffective haven and to the bathroom where he expunged the bile from his stomach.

Donnie sank back onto the floor and took stock of his situation, distracted only by the lovely cool of the porcelain. After a moment, he realised the singing had stopped. He then realised there was someone standing behind him.

‘You must stop doing that my dear,’ said Panix, with the accent of a bad South American dictator. ‘It’s no good being slimmest if there is nothing for me to hold on to.’

Black splodges appeared before Donnie’s eyes. He fell unconscious to the floor.

* * *