Harem Scare ‘em

As he wandered past familiar faces, Donnie had to admit that the outfit almost made up for being the consort of Panix. The light blue slacks and jacket had obviously been tailored for him, and fitted perfectly. His hair framed his face perfectly and for all intents and purposes, he may as well have been Daisy. Well, Daisy with a double mastectomy…

His memory appeared largely intact from the last two jumps; it could not have been a large one this time. The satisfaction of using the stun rod to brain Panix in the last jump was as fresh as the proverbial daisy.

Ignoring the pun, he instead smiled at the memory of Panix laying on the ground and almost wished there was something within arms reach so that he could repeat the event.

Perhaps this lamp…

‘Hey doll,’ asked a man who looked astonishingly familiar. He had an Oklahoma accent and looked like a well aged Elvis Presley. ‘You look like you’re plannin’ somethin’.’

‘Um.’ Donnie paused, trying not to act like a gobsmacked fan. He answered finally in the only way he could while under pressure: ‘I was just thinking of seriously assaulting that man over there.’

He pointed at Panix who was now holding court at one of the tables near the front of the ballroom.

‘You can’t like him, then,’ said Elvis, smiling slightly.

‘Not a lot, no,’ replied Donnie. ‘He’s very unpleasant. He sings your songs. Badly.’

‘Yeah?’ The smile was gone now. Elvis was unimpressed.

Donnie decided to be unpleasant; it was only fair. He sidled closer to his new friend and whispered conspiratorially in his ear.

‘I don’t care if he is a Colonel! I’m The KING,’ Elvis roared. He threw his glass to the ground.

Donnie took a small step back and tried not to let his grin appear too evil. There was such a thing as decorum, or so he had heard.

‘Wait here,’ The King said in the accent that touched Donnie’s spine and did all sorts of nice things to it.

A waiter rushed up, knelt down and began to  clean the broken glass from the floor. Donnie sat on his back, crossed his legs and watched the drama unfold.