My Little Pony

The baker woke up and wondered what had hit him; everything hurt, and everything was white. There was also someone sneezing nearby. That was odd. He counted the fifth in  a row.

‘Any of you little shites come near us I’ll kick you into next week,’ yelled a voice .

There was a thud of metal on stone.

He tapped around the floor for a cigarette, then for his lighter.

Another thud was followed by a crash of falling masonry.

* * *

Looking down on Daisy and Marcus, the Assistant leaned toward his king.

‘They’re going to escape,’ he whispered urgently.

‘It’s a thriller, thriller now…’ murmured The New King.

Two crows landed nearby. They glanced up at The New King and The Assistant with strange grey eyes.

‘Caw!’ one said to the other. Shit, this could be the end of it.

‘CawCawww!’ came the reply. Patience Brother, she can still jump.

They peered over the edge of the roof with attentive expressions, verging on the scarily intelligent. They saw a puff of flour coming from the bakery door behind Marcus and Daisy, glanced up at each other, extended their wings and took off frantically.

‘You should end this before things get any more out of hand,’ said The Assistant, clearly concerned.

‘A little longer.’

‘The longer this continues, the easier it will be for word to spread of their defiance. Why risk that?’

‘Because I’m bad, I’m bad, you know it…’ said The New King, then he smiled and nodded.

The assistant raised his arm once more. This time, there would be no escape.

* * *

Daisy sneezed for a sixth time. Her body was beginning to shudder in an oh-so-familiar way.

Marcus kicked again at the wall, and the bricks collapsed.

The children screamed and ran towards them.

Marcus crouched then leapt forwards.

* * *

The baker flicked the zippo open and, in a moment that would later be described as ‘suicidal distraction’, flicked the lighter on. The flame flared for a moment and then there was a terrible noise.

It may help the reader to know that it is a little-known but verifiable fact that flour is immensely flammable, as are many additives used in the baking industry.

* * *

Daisy sneezed for a seventh time, and the earth moved… in more ways than one.

BZORNT!

She woke with a killer headache and instinctively felt between her legs.

The arm was restrained. As was her other one.

She opened her eyes and winced from the sudden dazzlingly bright lights before her. Her ears were being assaulted by screeching sound from somewhere in the room.

‘All right,’ she yelled, closing her eyes as tightly as she could. ‘For crying out loud, turn it off!’

No-one responded; it was entirely possible they didn’t hear her.

Click to see the next installment: The politics of thought

Thanks to Daniel and Chris for the flour

Northcote and Antibes, May 2005 and Thornbury, August 2006