My Little Pony

‘Hello,’ said Princess Diana with a smile and an impeccable example of her former mother-in-law’s English. ‘You seemed to be in a spot of bother so we thought we would lend a hand.’

Daisy froze, then blinked madly for a moment. She rubbed her eyes with her knuckles which made them itch like crazy and was something her mother had told her not to do. She rubbed some more.

Another shadow blocked the sun from her legs; she’d never get a tan at this rate.

‘Hi gorgeous,’ said Marilyn Monroe. She giggled slightly. She also looked pretty good for someone who had supposedly been dead for twenty years.

Daisy’s eyes were now the colour of the blood running from The Assassin’s chest and while his death made her life a little easier at this point, he just wasn’t the type to take something like this lying down.

Still, could be worse, she mused, and jumped to her feet, staggered, took a breather then straightened. Note to self, she thought. Get thee to a gym.

She smiled a little smile of recollective contentment and added: though an Elvis would be a tad nicer.

‘You okay, sweetie?’ asked Marilyn.

‘Um, I think,’ murmured Daisy. ‘Thanks for that and all.’

‘You want to join us back at the picnic?’ asked Di.

Daisy looked down the hill to see a red and white chequered picnic cloth laid out on the grass, some plates and a wicker picnic basket. The radio was still playing music, now something by Kate Bush.

Lounging around on the grass next to the cloth were several bears. The largest had a cigarette in his mouth.

Rather than screaming confusion, strange calm poured through her body, like a cold drink on a hot day.

‘Isn’t that bad for him,’ Daisy said at last.

‘Oh, Merv?’ said Marilyn, looking down at the bear, who was now sucking down a can of beer. He thumped his chest and burped a nine on the richter-scale. The other bears rolled around giggling.

‘He’s tried patches, he’s tried hypnotism; nothing works,’ explained Di.

That explained the square bald patches on his arms, thought Daisy, nodding slightly. Fair enough. She caught a glance at the four-foot bows hung from the girls shoulders and frowned.

‘Nice weaponry,’ Daisy murmured. She turned her head and focussed on the surrounding area. Just beyond the picnic was a huge, dark forest and then a golden road which stopped just short of the horizon. Its progress was blocked by a large white castle which stuck out like a set of architect-designed high-rise apartments in a heritage listed zone.

Daisy stared at the road for a moment with a frown, then at the sun and back to the road.

‘Must be an optical allusion,’ she murmured.

‘We were a bit concerned when you wandered off,’ said Di. ‘With so many people after you, you’ve got to be more careful.’

She smiled her special smile, though not the one reserved for land-mines and paparazzi.

‘Oh, yeah,’ said Daisy, trying to sound as if she understood what Diana was getting at. She gave The Assassin a kick for good measure, reasoning that it was now or never.

Which reminded her. She grinned again.

‘Someone got some,’ said Marilyn. ‘Was it…?’

‘I couldn’t say,’ replied Daisy in an aloof tone. ‘I don’t share my sexual escapades with just anyone.’

‘It was! Hah! I won!’ exclaimed Marilyn, thrusting her hands in the air in triumph. She did a little girly dance and clapped her hands.