The Middle Child of the Secret of the Lost Gavel

Donnie stretched, twisted… and…

…touched Rambozo’s hand.

‘Right,’ Rambozo bellowed and parted the ropes. He went after Freddy McWarickson with an irritated expression on his face. ‘Now you’re going to pay for what you did to my friend.’

‘Get stuffed fatso,’ said Freddy, bounding backwards, flicking Raznou the bird.

Rambozo stamped the ring’s floor, and Freddy was propelled a good three feet in the air to a booming drumhead sound.

* * *

Donnie was pulled from the ring by the other member of the team.

‘Are you all right, dear,’ said The Cobbler, past her silver and black makeup. ‘Freddy’s a bit vicious isn’t he?’

‘I think I’ll survive,’ murmured Donnie, and added, ‘And being triple-jointed is okay… isn’t it?’

* * *

Freddy bounced back off the ropes and then off of Rambozo’s torso.

‘Ohhhh,’ exclaimed the crowd, feeling Freddy’s pain as he thumped down on the canvas.

Rambozo didn’t waste any time and threw his ample weight down onto Freddy’s prone form just as the bell went.

‘Boooo,’ screamed the crowd, denied the fun of seeing a man smothered right in front of their eyes. Rambozo pushed himself up and off of Freddy, who took a low blow, but struck Rambozo’s box.

A little old lady stood up and screamed at Freddy.

‘You’re a mean, nasty little git, McWarickson!’

He stood, blew her a kiss and walked nonchalantly back to his corner to confer with his team-mates.

* * *

‘Get off her you bastard,’ yelled Rambozo. ‘That’s my bloody wife!’

‘Language,’ screamed The Cobbler from beneath Le Goon, Freddy’s French-Canadian team-mate. His costume was blue-green in colour and his dead possum cloak hung over his shoulders, severely irritating the Right to Life (animal division) members in the audience.

‘Sorry darling,’ Rambozo murmured, chastised.

‘Ooo, ow,’ said Donnie wincing as, against all odds, The Cobbler managed to extract herself from the triple-and-a-half nelson with a clove-hitch and knotted her assailants legs around his ears.

She bounded around the ring happily to the adoration of the fans, cape flapping behind her as she moved.

Her foe somehow managed to walk on his backside and got himself close enough to his corner to change places with McWarickson’s secret weapon: The man known only as The Macintosh.

He wandered into the ring, clad in a long coat and opened it suddenly in front of The Cobbler.

She screamed at the sight.